Creationism Part III

You can read about my first entry on creationism here.

“If evolution makes us better and better, why do we get cancer?”

Fuck. I mean…just…fuck! As usual, the fundies just can’t come up with anything that makes any sense. I’ve had so many creationists ask me this, believing they’d leave me standing there with my mouth hanging open, stumped by their argument. Well, they didn’t stump me, but they did leave me standing there with my mouth hanging open. Oh, the sheer and utter dismay I experience while watching someone show such arrogance and triumph while spewing such ignorant bullshit. 

These morons truly believe that evolutionary theory states that as generations change over time, they will inevitably get both smarter and stronger. Obviously, it cannot be true that evolution always leads to more intelligent individuals or these fucking idiots that ask these kinds of questions wouldn’t exist. So, in a way, I wish they were right.

Once again, my dear fundies, I will take the time to explain to you the astonishingly high levels of your god damn stupidity.

Let’s address the cancer portion of your question first. Most people don’t get cancer until they have reached an age at which they have already had children. Getting cancer earlier than that happens, but it is extremely rare. Cancer, most of the time,  shows up when it will no longer affect an individual’s ability to pass on their traits to the next generation. Once you’ve passed the age of child bearing and child raising, natural selection breaks up with you and moves on, and selection pressures no longer apply to you.

The term selection pressures simply means features of an environment that cause individuals with certain traits to survive and reproduce more frequently than individuals without those traits. For example, in my post here, the fictional island of Boogerloo created a situation in which having a black exterior and a tendency to stay high in trees increased the chance an individual would survive and reproduce due to the island’s selection pressures (black trees and ground dwelling predators) on that species. Those that had these traits survived and reproduced more often than those that did not, and as a result, these traits showed up more and more frequently in that population as generations passed. But, in a different environment, with different selection pressures, different traits would show up as the generations pass.

But, think about it. Once you’ve successfully reproduced and your offspring no longer require your care to survive, what happens to you next has nothing to do with whether you will successfully pass on your traits to the next generation because you’ve already succeeded in doing so. You could stroke out and drop dead the day after your offspring becomes independent and this would have no impact on your evolutionary success. 

Here is what this has to do with cancer. There are selection pressures for traits that decrease the likelihood that you will get cancer before and during the age of reproduction. But, there are no selection pressures for these traits once that time has passed because getting cancer or not getting cancer after that time period has no effect on whether your traits made it to the next generation.

We do have mechanisms in our body that watch for mutated cells and eradicate them. If we didn’t, we’d all have cancer at a very young age and humans would cease to exist because no one would survive long enough to reproduce. Thus, through the process of natural selection, we developed mechanisms that make it much less likely that we will get cancer before our child bearing and child raising years end. Not impossible, mind you…because variability exists in any species. But, there are no selection pressures for old people. So, if these mechanisms start to fail us after our child bearing and child raising years have ended, sadly, natural selection will never change that. And these mechanisms do indeed tend to begin to fail us as we get older because selection pressures have never required them to do otherwise.

Evolutionary theory does not predict that evolution will produce a perfect, immortal species. It simply states that organisms will become more adapted to their environment over generations and these adaptions will increase the likelihood (not guarantee) each individual will survive and reproduce. So, the fact that we can get cancer actually fits very nicely with evolutionary theory. The chance that you will get cancer exists from conception and forward, but that chance rises very significantly right around the age that people have typically passed the age that they would bear and raise children. And that is no coincidence. 

Now, for the second aspect of your thoughtless, uninformed, dumbass question. The root implication of the creationists’ question is that evolution will always produce smarter and stronger individuals as time goes by. Many people foolishly believe that natural selection values the same traits that we do. And they could not be more fucking wrong. 

Let me explain how it actually works. Natural selection doesn’t give a shit about the things you and I value. In our society, we value people based on all kinds of things such as intelligence, kindness, work ethic, etc. But natural selection only values one thing: reproducing viable offspring. Concerning evolution, absolutely nothing else matters. 

I know a wonderful, kind, loving couple. The wife has passionately taught children to love education for the past 40 years in both private and public schools. She has kept in touch with a lot of her students over the years and made herself available for support and advice as they navigate through life. She does volunteer work to raise money for breast cancer research. She exudes kindness and generosity and brings so much joy to others. Most people would love for their community to have more people like her. 

Sadly, this woman had to face a very difficult struggle during her life: infertility. And despite very intense fertility treatments and years of heart break and grief, she never successfully conceived. She and her husband adopted 2 children and provided them with a wonderful, loving home. Today, she expresses only happiness with the way things turned out and the family she ended up having. She is, most certainly, a valuable person. 

Yet, in evolutionary terms, she is a worthless, abysmal failure. In regards to evolution, none of those wonderful traits she has matter at all because they did not make her any more likely to reproduce viable offspring. We could find the most intelligent person on earth, and natural selection wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about it unless that intelligence made him/her more likely to reproduce viable offspring. Natural selection centers around who survives and produces the most viable offspring and nothing else.

I know another woman I met by nature of my career, which involves helping orphans and foster children. I loathe this woman. She has 12 children, almost all with different fathers. And the count continues to climb every year. All 12 of her children live in foster care. She expresses no alarm in response to this fact. She has done nothing to even try to get her children back home. These days, when she gives birth, DCFS takes the baby right from the hospital before even giving her a chance to provide care for the baby due to her consistently negligent history. She is horribly neglectful. One of her youngest children suffered extremely severe injuries after she left him for an evening without any proper supervision to get high with her boyfriend. DCFS has spread her 12 children throughout various foster homes and institutions. She rarely visits them. Most of the time, I watch her children get excited about their scheduled visit with their mother, and she ends up being a no call, no show. This woman is an absolute fucking bitch. 

And yet, in evolutionary terms, she is a raving success worthy of a 5-star review. She has successfully reproduced 12 viable offspring. Natural selection doesn’t care about anything else. In strict, evolutionary terms, the bitch woman reached far more levels of success than my infertile friend. Welcome to nature. Mother Nature, for all her beauty, can be a real bitch.

The traits that we tend to value do not necessarily match the selection pressures on a species. Being smarter and stronger will not always help a species survive. Animals that have adapted most effectively to their particular environment will survive and reproduce more frequently. And those adaptations do not necessarily need to be things like intelligence, strength, or anything else we humans deem important. Selection pressures, in some instances, may involve the opposite of what we value. Getting smaller will provide the best advantage in certain circumstances, such as when an individual can find tiny places to hide and avoid being eaten by predators. In that case, being weaker (in comparison to larger animals) proves more advantageous because the smaller size allows them to fit into the tiny hiding spaces. 

As evolution progresses, it does not necessarily produce smarter and smarter and stronger and stronger species or individuals. Some branches of evolution went that direction, but many of them did not. It all depends on the unique selection pressures a particular environment offers. Thus, as evolution pushes species to become better and better, it only pushes them to become better and better adapted to their particular environment. It does not push them to develop specific traits that humans value. 

So, if evolution is true, why do we still get cancer? That’s why, assholes. If you understood even the most basic principles of evolutionary theory, you would know not to ask such a stupid question. Don’t challenge an idea if you don’t even give enough of a shit about it to learn the most basic tenets of that idea. Our public education put all kinds of money and effort into teaching you how to fucking read. So, READ, damn it.


Creationism Part II

If you’d like to read my first post on the intolerably ignorant comments made by creationists, you can find it here.

“If people came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?”

I’ve been asked this question so many times, I swear I’m going to shit my pants if I get asked it again. Creationists that have brought this question to my attention inevitably stand there with a ridiculous, arrogant smirk on their faces, showing they obviously think they’ve come up with something so witty and so profound that they just threw a big fucking monkey wrench in the whole god damn theory of evolution, the backbone of the entire field of biology. My god, I can’t fucking stand it.

I mean can people really sustain their lives in spite of this level of stupidity? Do they think they’ve come up with something that the many, many, many scientists studying biology across the globe never noticed? God damn dumbasses.

So, I will now set the record straight by making 2 important points about the theory of evolution. The first point I would like to make demonstrates quite clearly that these people do not know what the fuck they are talking about.

Point 1: No biologist anywhere claims that people came from monkeys.

Do you get that, imbeciles? You half-wit fucktards think you’ve come up with a brilliant defense against a claim that no one is even claiming to begin with. It would be just as productive for me to set out to prove that the biologists are all wrong because their claim that the sky is green is false. If I did that, you would say I’m an absolute idiot because biologists don’t even say the sky is green. So, yeah, waste your pathetic lives arguing against claims no one is making, you fucking blockheads. If something is not important enough to you to pick up a god damn book and fucking read about it, then it’s not important enough to you to open up your trap and spew out your asinine opinions about it.

What biologists actually say is that monkeys and humans share a common ancestor. So, in a sense, they’re kind of like our evolutionary cousins. You’re related to your cousins because you share a common ancestor, your grandparents, with your cousins. But, you did not come from your cousins, obviously.

But, for the sake of argument, let’s pretend that biologists do actually say that people came from monkeys. The question, “Why are there still monkeys,” would still not do anything to trip up evolutionary theory. Any of these moronic asshats that think it does simply do not understand how evolution works. Which leads to my second point.

Point 2: If species B came from species A, it is not true that every single individual from species A turned into species B.

No where will you find a biologist, or anyone that has even the most basic understanding of biology, claiming that every individual in a species together evolved into a new species. It just doesn’t work that way. And no one says it does. So, to all of you that are too fucking dumb to decide you should learn about something before forming an opinion about it, I will help you learn about it now by telling you a story. Simple minds tend to understand things better when information is offered in story form, so I will accomodate you and your feeble mind.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful island called Boogerloo. On the island of Boogerloo lived a species called boops. A group of the same species living in the same geographical area, such as the island of Boogerloo, is called a population. The population of boops on this island survived quite well thanks to the adaptations it had to the particular environment on Boogerloo.

The trees on the island of Boogerloo were covered in black bark. Boops were the color black, and they hung out in the trees much of the time. This was very helpful since it made it difficult for predators to see the boops, and if predators did see them, it was difficult to get to them up in the trees. The leaves on these trees were soft and easy to chew. Thus, boops never grew any teeth, and their mouths were not very strong.

The boops lived happily on the island of Boogerloo for many, many generations. Any boops that tried to leave the island died…until one day, something happened. The direction and force of the wind as well as the current in the water created a circumstance in which a boop could successfully swim to a neighboring island. So that day, the boops that tried to leave the island of Boogerloo actually succeeded. They made their way across the water and onto the island of Chimcheechee.

Chimcheechee was quite different from Boogerloo. Usually, when members of a population move away to a new environment that they are not adapted to, they die. But, every once in a while, they manage to succeed. And this was the case with the small group of adventurous boops. They survived.

But, this new environment offered different selection pressures (features of the environment that make certain traits advantageous to have). The trees were a very light brown. The leaves were thick and much more difficult to chew. The branches reached lower to the ground, allowing some predators to reach the boops in the trees…something that rarely happened in Boogerloo.

There were a few members of the group that left Boogerloo that weren’t as dark of a black as the typical boops. It was a little bit easier for these light colored boops to avoid being spotted in the trees, especially when they were near the darker colored boops, which predators tended to spot, and thus, eat, more often. Others were just a little bigger than the average boop. This made them a little more intimidating to predators, leading the predators to tend to choose to eat the smaller boops to avoid a potential fight in pursuit of their meals. And still, other boops had mouths that were a little bit more firm than the average boop, and they had an easier time breaking down the leaves of Chimcheechee in their mouths. This made them less likely to suffer from malnourishment.

The more a boop had these features, the more likely they were to survive and reproduce on the island of Chimcheechee.

Over time, from generation to generation, these specific features showed up more and more in this population of boops because the ones with these traits were more likely to survive and pass on those traits by reproducing. After many, many, many generations, almost every boop on the island of Chimcheechee was light brown, bigger in size, and had a firm mouth. So, at first, the boops with these traits, and the genes that produce them, were in the minority. But, because the island of Chimcheechee had a different environment, and therefore different selection pressures, eventually these weird traits became common place amongst the boops. They were the new boops.

On the island of Chimcheechee, there was a big mountain that ran through the middle of the island. The sun didn’t shine as easily on that side of the mountain, and it did not rain nearly as much. This caused the environment on the other side of the mountain to be quite different. Usually, when the new boops crossed to the other side of the mountain, they died. But, one day, the ones that crossed didn’t die. They made it over and managed to survive in this new environment with yet different selection pressures again. So, over the generations, the new boops changed even more as they adapted to their new environment. After many, many generations, almost all of the new boops on the other side of the mountain had even newer traits.

These newer new boops were so different from the original boops on the island of Boogerloo, where their ancestors lived, they could no longer successfully mate with the boops from Boogerloo even if they managed to find their way back over there. They were too genetically different for their chromosomes to combine in such a way as to reproduce a viable offspring. Thus, the boops on the other side of the mountain of Chimcheechee were not the same species as the boops of Boogerloo.

Some of the new boops on the first side of the mountain on Chimcheechee eventually went to another island and adapted to the enviroment there while the newer new boops from the second side of the mountain of Chimcheechee went to yet a different island. As this process continued on and on, the paths of the separated boops became more and more distant, so much so, it’d be difficult to even know they shared the same ancestors, the boops on Boogerloo, anymore unless you knew what to look for.

Scenarios like this are how new species come to be. But, it’s important to note here that all of the changes that lead to the new boops and the newer new boops had no impact on whether the boops on the island of Boogerloo survived. If the environment on Boogerloo remained the same during all of these events, then, most likely, the boops on the island of Boogerloo remained happy and well just as they were.

So, to all you losers out there that think you have come up with some insurmountable argument against evolutionary theory by asking, “If people came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys,” the answer is simple. First, people didn’t come from monkeys. But, second, even if they did, the process of a new species coming into existence does not require that the former species be wiped out from existence. And if you ever took the time to read a god damn book and learn about a topic before deciding what you think about it, you’d fucking know that.

Next time, take the time to fucking learn about what a person is actually saying before trying to argue against their claims. If you’re too much of a lazy ass to do that, then, just shut the fuck up.


“If people came from monkeys, how come there are still monkeys?”

“If evolution makes us better and better, why do we get cancer?”

The crocoduck

“The theory of evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics.”

“The complexity of life we see today on earth could not have arisen from random chance alone.”

“We find so many fossils due to so many animals being killed during a global flood that occurred 4,000 years ago.”

“Evolutionary theory is not testable.”

“The Grand Canyon resulted from a massive, global flood that occurred 4,000 years ago.”

“Evolution is just a theory.”

“Do you really want to believe a monkey is your great grandfather?”

This bullshit.

Son of a bitch. They say the brain does not feel pain, but when I hear and read some of the horse shit that flies out of the mouths of creationists, I begin to question that claim. I find the fact that so many Americans believe in creationism almost as hard to believe as creationism itself. 

A portion of fundies have committed themselves to fight for the teaching of creationism in public schools as an alternative to the theory of evolution. “Teach the controversy!” the god damn fools proclaim.

Well, assholes, I have a news flash for you: there is no controversy. Let me say this again for the sake of emphasis. THERE IS NO FUCKING CONTROVERSY. When 99.9% of all scientists across all fields of study agree that the theory of evolution is the best and most supported explanation for how we came to be and that alternative explanations have thus far not brought forth any valid data that was not pulled out of some prick’s ass, we can safely conclude that no controversy on the issue exists. And no controversy on this issue will ever exist unless someone brings something quite new, radical, and substantiated to the table. 

But, why does it matter anyway? Some people believe it really doesn’t matter how people believe we came to be, and they leave it at that. I can see how one can come to that conclusion. Why waste energy fighting about what happened billions of years ago? Does it matter? Is it worth the trouble? Hell yeah, it matters. It matters a lot. If 99.9% of all scientists believe that a theory is the god damn backbone of the entire fucking field of biology, and half of American citizens reject that same theory, it speaks to the lack of trust and confidence in the scientific community. That lack of trust and confidence matters because evolutionary theory isn’t the only thing the scientific community is chugging out. It also chugs out medicine. And a hell of a lot of people need medication.

Now, before you launch your campaign against big pharma, I will be transparent and admit I evaluate all claims from big pharma with a good dose of skepticism. Yet, while I do not condone having blind faith in anything, I do, for the most part, trust the medical community…at least on the big stuff that has been around for quite some time. Sure, sometimes big pharma pulls some fucking bullshit like hiding data so they can push a medication out to the market and get the dollars rolling into their already big ass pockets, but there are always other researchers standing by to check these bastards out. Scientists replicate studies. And when an idea is tested multiple times and the data that results is inconsistent, they realize something is up and research it even more. The truth eventually comes out. Science is a self correcting process.

In other words, yeah, we have certainly experienced isolated incidents in which dishonesty in research caused harm to others, but we have never seen a vast conspiracy that involved almost the entire field of medicine. Thus, some distrust in treatments that are new is legitimate. But, these cocksuckers running around declaring global conspiracies are full of shit. You can find douchebags in every group, and the scientific community is no exception. But, by and large, scientists don’t do research for money. They do research because they are good intentioned people that want to know the truth. 

When people believe otherwise, bad things happen. The anti-vaccine movement is a good example of this. We’ve got kids getting serious and preventable illnesses, even dying from these avoidable illnesses, because their parents are a bunch of dumbasses that think vaccines are extraordinarily dangerous and that people will do better without them. Then, when their kids get tetanus or other terrible diseases, they can do nothing but sit by and watch the disaster they created for their child unfold. But, they don’t only put their own children at risk. They put other people at risk, too. Some children cannot receive vaccinations because they have an allergy to a component in the vaccine or they suffer from a compromised immune system, so the vaccines will not work for them. These kids depend on others to become vaccinated so they won’t spread these diseases to them. 

We had all but eradicated these diseases, but they have since made a triumphant return thanks to this asinine movement. What drives these morons forward? Ignorance. Unfounded distrust. The inability to understand the difference between a peer reviewed journal and a blog. Some people believe that academic research means typing in and going from there. Fucking idiots. 

Do you see the connection here? When we doubt something as well founded as evolution, that same stupidity can be applied in other circumstances that are dangerous. It is important to know what people are talking about. It’s important to know what the fuck is going on. Innocent babies and children have died due to peope’s failure to get a god damn clue. And that fucking matters.

I will be spending the next several posts addressing each of the asinine statements listed above. It would be far too overwheming for both readers and myself to address all of those statments in a single post. As this blog develops, you will find occasional creationist articles peppered throughout along with my response to the shit heads that wrote them. I just can’t fucking help myself. I welcome anyone to add their responses to the articles or offer their challenges to my rebuttal in the comments as I build this blog.

The Fuckocrat

I know an old hag that never refers to a democrat as a democrat. She instead prefers to call them “low information voters.” Is this some right wing phrase that I’ve only heard in one place? Or is this some special phrase she coined herself? I honestly don’t know. But it’s fucking special alright.

Why doesn’t she just get up and shout, “Everyone that disagrees with me is stupid!”

I will say this phenomenon is not isolated to extreme conservatives, though. Extreme liberals are equally as guilty of this charge. They listen to one side. They get partial information, but believe they have all of the information. They then conclude that anyone that doesn’t agree with them simply doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

But, in my world, I see this from conservatives more than liberals simply because I have so many conservative friends that have lingered from my fundie life. So that is what I’m going to bitch about today. But, this post could easily be re-written by replacing the word conservatives with liberals and replacing Fox News with MSNBC. I fully acknowledge that.

I’ve been asked what my political views are. Of course, by this, people usually are asking whether I’m a republican or a democrat. Well, I’m neither. I’m a fuckocrat.

What? You’ve never heard of a fuckocrat? OK, ok. I made that shit up. But, I do consider myself to be one. A fuckocrat is a person that aligns with neither the republicans or democrats or any other party. They simply realize that the American government, regardless of which administration is currently in charge, is fucking the vast majority of American citizens over. To state it in one sentence, a fuckocrat is a person that believes we’re all getting fucked by the man.

As a die hard fuckocrat, I believe in education, investigation, and research about current issues and events. And not from sources that insist on giving only partial information to advance their agenda.

Fox News has spent countless hours bitching about the Benghazi disaster. And conservatives are eating it up to this day. I’m sure that whatever did happen, it really was sleazy. Being a fuckocrat, I’m always watching with a suspicious eye. But, where were these conservatives when far larger numbers of soldiers were dying in a war that was started on a premise that was proven false? I know where the conservatives were back then. They were rallying behind George W. as the “chosen man of God.”

You see, all a politician has to do is get up behind a podium, quote a few scriptures, say he is a Christian, and babble some gibberish about abortion and prayer, and no matter what else they say or do, they will have automatically earned a very, very large number of votes. And not only will they get the votes, but they’ll get continued, unfettered support throughout their term, regardless of what they do. They can do the most evil shit imaginable and the fundies will be right there cheering those fuckers on.

I remember George W. being given a list of suggestions provided by the top military leaders in our nation and supported by congress. It was a huge fucking list. I don’t remember how many suggestions, but it was a LOT. George W. rejected ever god damn one of them. Every god damn one. He thought he knew better than experienced professionals on each and every point. He went his own way and used his presidential power to do whatever the hell he wanted. The fundies applauded ol’ Georgey, saying he wasn’t going to let those ass hats in Washington tell him what to do. He was gonna get ‘er done right.

Fast forward to the Obama administration. Obama has used his presidential power to go against the Washington ass hats plenty of times himself. But the fundies have now changed their tune, offering a much different reaction. They call for Obama’s impeachment for abusing his power as president. They call him a dictator or refer to him as King Hussein (’cause we just can’t forget that his middle name is the same as the first name of a terrorist..because that really fucking matters).

I knew a guy that practically got a woody every time he heard the term “Republican Party.” To him, they were the cake with special frosting and a scoop of ice cream on top. He told me once that Obama was a dick because he wanted the rich to have the biggest tax breaks and the poor and middle class to carry the largest tax burden. He expressed to me what a terrible economic strategy that is. I informed him that it is actually republicans that support this strategy. They believe giving tax breaks to the rich will cause that savings to trickle down to the undeserving maggots in the dung pile at the bottom of the economic ladder. Because, you know, rich people are well known for their generosity and tendency to pass the money onto the little guy. He went home and looked it up. A week later, we were having dinner, and he brought this up again, admitting it was the republicans that support this economic strategy. He then began to defend it, explaining that people won’t have anything to work toward if they know they just have to pay more taxes if they make more money.

First, I explained that it would be asinine to decide to not go from making $20,000 per year to $300,000 per year because of the increase in tax rate. Unless one would then have to pay $180,000 per year in taxes. So, that’s a pretty fucking stupid argument.

But, second, I was astonished that when he believed Obama supported an idea, he was completely against it and disgusted by it. But, as soon as he found out republican politicians supported the idea, it magically became a good thing and a fantabulous idea. But, this is how people are. They pick a side and follow it blindly.

This all resulted from a very big problem in this country. This country has too many lazy assholes that don’t want to think. And they certainly don’t want to read…unless it’s browsing their favorite little biased websites looking for memes posted by some jackass that picks and chooses what and who to bitch about based on what makes their side look like heroes while demonizing the other side. They’d much rather parrot what Fox News tells them to think. I have seen so many articles posted in my Facebook newsfeed recently that genuinely describe democrats as evil intentioned people that hate America and seek to destroy it. The republicans, on the contrary, are the patriots, fighting the good fight for America, trying to protect it from these liberal monsters. There really are people that believe this…and it is no small number of people that do.

I think the government wants it this way. They want us arguing with each other. If we keep ourselves occupied with arguing with one another, we’ll be far too busy to even notice all the serious fucked up bullshit our American government does. The policies of our government are designed to benefit a very minute portion of American citizens…of course, this minute portion is also the richest portion and that is obviously not a coincidence. They’re the ones that fund the politicians’ campaigns and slip money into their pockets any chance they get as a little reminder of who to keep as the priority. Our political leaders drop to their knees and suck these rich mother fuckers’ dicks with the promise that they’ll be taken care of once the blow job is complete. And it works. But, isn’t prostitution illegal in this country?

And what do we do about it? We fall in love with our political party and cheer them on like a bunch of dumbasses. This is just an entirely new depth of stupidity. Imagine someone being thrown overboard a ship with big fucking weights chained onto their damn ankles. And the whole time, they’re singing the praises of those tossing them over. That’s what most Americans do. We’re god damn morons.

Republicans and democrats alike want us all be to be good, dumb little workers. They’ll throw us just enough scraps to keep us all placated while they forge ahead in their pursuit of power and wealth. They put a carrot on a stick out in front of us just to make us think that there is actually a chance that one day, we’ll get to have the carrot, too. Those shit heads know we never will. But, if they just keep dangling that carrot, telling us we actually do have equality in this country, that everyone actually does get a fair chance, that hard work really does pay off around here…we’ll be the ass that keeps walking toward that unobtainable carrot.

As a representative of the fuckocratic party, I beg of you all to think. Turn off Fox News. In fact, turn off all the news all together. They give you bits and pieces, but never show you the whole. Read. And read a lot. Read from all sides of an issue. And then read some more. Digest what you read. Process it. Criticize it. And then read some more. And then think some more. And then think a little more.

Once you’ve done that, get off your ass and do something about it. Fundies love to rave about our forefathers. You know what our forefathers did? They fought the whole god damn British army because of unfair tax laws and a lack of representation of the people’s interests in government. They fought and died to end that kind of bullshit. Then, we all just sat down and let our own government do the exact same shit.

There are more of us than them. So they don’t get away with it because of their size and power. They get away with it because we let them. We have given our permission.

Who’s with me! Join the fuckocratic party today! Let’s tell the man that the bullshit ends today, or we’ll see to it that it’s them that will end up fucked!

Oh, the Hypocrisy

I just can’t stand it. God damn, do I hate it. When people can dish it out, but then can’t take it in return…it drives me bat shit crazy. Sure, one can find hypocrisy practically everywhere, but in my world, I come across it most frequently among fundies. And it pisses me off.

They work so hard to tell the non-fundies of the world about the wickedness of their ways. They even try to use the law to prevent people from making what they perceive as wrong choices, even if they are personal decisions that have no effect on society at large. They should all carry signs that say, “Even if you aren’t a fundie, you’d better damn well live a fundie kind of life!” Because they truly see the world this way. And they get pissy if someone gets upset about it. They bitch incessantly about people that find any offense with their message. They expect others to see that they share their message out of love and concern. In fact, non-fundies should thank them for sharing the truth. Oh, yippee! Fuck.

They do these things and then get their panties all up in a wad when someone dares to imply that fundamentalism doesn’t offer the path to perfection. I’ve had a person tell me that she tells her gay friends where she stands, and they should not be offended by it. Meanwhile, in the exact same paragraph, she told me she finds my distaste for the church offensive because I suggested that fundies don’t live like Jesus lived. You see, fundies are allowed to share what they think openly, and we should exuberantly embrace their words with gratitude, but non-fundies are absolutely not to share what they think openly because fundies find it offensive. Yeah, makes sense.

They expect others to listen to them intently, but they themselves refuse to listen to anyone. They truy believe no one else outside of the fundie world says anything worth listening to. How fucking arrogant.

Well, listen up, bitches. I don’t find what you say offensive, but I do find your hypocritical refusal to listen to anyone else among your constant barrage of criticisms of everyone different than you annoying as fuck. I guess the fundies got it partially right when they decided all non-fundies will go to hell. Because fundies have created hell on earth for so many non-fundies for so long that many non-fundies really do end up living in hell. We’ve got gay teenagers jumping off bridges and putting shot guns to their heads because the fundie way of living has made their lives such a miserable, living hell that death seems preferable to continuing on in this world. But, if you tell a fundie this, they won’t agree that the hell created for these young people lead to their suicide. They’ll tell you the decision not to turn their gayness over to God lead to their misery and destruction. Of course, consulting people who actually are gay about this has no validity in their minds because they believe they know more about being a homosexual than actual homosexuals do. Yeah, because I don’t know any teenagers that would have a hard time living in a world in which something so intimately a part of them is stigmatized, hated, and treated with disdain by so many. Teenagers are so resilient when it comes to that kind of shit.

I say if you can’t handle people telling you their opinions, then shut up about your own. Can you fundies not engage in a civil and honest dialogue in which you listen to and consider everything being put on the table as much as you expect others to listen to and consider your thoughts? If you are incapabe of doing something so simple, then shut your god damn pie hole.